Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
