Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
