i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
