I have demons in me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
