I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
