I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
