It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
