Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
