Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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