Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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