did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
