Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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