i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
