she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
