I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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