do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
