R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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