Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
