i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
