we have officially lost it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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