I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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