so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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