that's an acceptable place to lick
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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