I just made out with a guy for $7.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
