marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pants are for mortals
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
