Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
