So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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