Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
