u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
