Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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