he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
