I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
