all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's shark week go big or go home
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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