5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize