I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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