Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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