sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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