I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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