ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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