Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
