I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
