Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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