Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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