Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
