4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I bet he comes in French.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
