What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
