We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
