i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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