Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
