Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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