even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Mom said you looked used
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
