I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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